Days 149-156/365: Losing Momentum
I appear to have fallen into a pattern of only being able to upload onto this blog at the weekend. This definitely runs the risk of falling behind and then not bothering with it. I really would hope to complete this 365, but I am finding it hard to keep momentum. I mean it was hard the first time but this year it is really hard. I think that there are a few reasons for this.
- The novelty of the challenge is gone
- I am not learning as much so the rewards are less
- I do not see the same progress in my photography - I am actually in a bit of a rut
- I am not currently in a 365 group. The group I was in last year has continued to thrive and they appear to have formed friendships outside of the group. I think that I always struggled to be part of that because they are all based in the US. They went to Clickin Moms events and joined contests together. I have now rejoined Clickin Moms
- I am in a new 52 project which is not as good as the one I was in before. It is okay, but just not quite as good. I have missed a couple of weeks because I just couldn't get excited about the themes
- Because of the above, I now receive pretty much no encouragement to continue with the project. I sometimes post my photos on Facebook and a few people say nice things but I haven't told many people about this blog. Those who do know about it don't look at it.
- I appear to have less time for the project
- My kids are older and therefore less interested in taking part
- I am frustrated with my editing style and feel that I need guidance. I will take a course later in the year when Bear starts school
- I am struggling with some negative self talk about my photography - "what is the point?", "other people take better pictures effortlessly", "people think that I am showing off", "I am not getting any better", "I am not gifted with a good eye for composition and I will never get it", "this is taking up too much of my time... and computer storage space!" and so on and so on....
I know that this is sounding a bit down and poor me-ish but the reality is that I am not feeling in a good place with the project right now. That is worrying because this is actually the easiest time with lots of natural light for longer periods of the day and plenty of opportunities to take interesting photos outside the house.
I will aim to hold on for a few more months, but clearly a course of some sort and some constructive feedback on my work is now needed if I am going to move this forward at all.
So, last weekend was actually pretty great from a photography perspective because we got out and about with the camera. As I said in the last post, I am keen to tick some things off my bucket list. Something that I have never done is fly a kite. Apart from being a very fun thing to do, I thought it would be a brilliant thing to photograph. It was a challenge because of the dynamic range of light going on. Unfortunately the kite was flying straight into the sun which was a challenge for our eyes, let alone the lens. I do love beach shots though.
Day 149 - Kite flying in Bexhill.
Day 150 - Basketball in the O2
My husband and the boys have become very interested in basketball this year. Last Sunday we attended the finals in the O2. I am not a big sports person but basketball is very watchable and I played a bit at school. I was very happy to be trying out some sports photography until I was approached by a member of staff who told me that my 100mm lens exceeded the maximum length permitted. You can take photos on your phone or with 50mm and less. So basically you can take crappy pictures that you have no hope of selling. This is the third time that I have been "told off" for using my camera in public. I find these incidents very upsetting and shaming and it is another reason that I am struggling with the hobby. As it stands I don't feel that I want to risk taking any photos in indoor public spaces again.
Day 151 - Things got much quieter after that as the week kicked off. On Monday I took a photography of the new doll that I got for my birthday. She is very very special and I love her a lot. This is Myth. I know that this sounds super morbid, but I wanted her for my 40th because of my need to embrace the concept of my own mortality. I love the imagery and beauty of dis de los muertos and when the opportunity to get this doll came up, I found it impossible to resist.
Day 152 - This was a last minute shot late at night. I almost forgot to take a picture at all.
Day 153 - The theme for this weeks project has something to do with pets. I have been chasing our cat around for most of the week trying to get a decent photo of her. It has been challenge with very little reward. I might just submit the bug picture.
I was glad to get this fun flare shot of Rexy later in the day.
Day 154 - This was a very early morning photoshoot because I was away overnight for work. I took these first thing on Thursday morning. It is great to have the morning light again.
Day 155 - These were taken late on Friday night when I returned.
Day 156 - The cat! Another attempt at photographing the cat. I'm still not happy with it.
So that's another week in the bag.