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Days 146-148/365: Forty

It was my 40th birthday this week. I know that some people take this sort of thing in their stride but I think that it is a pretty big deal. I usually agree that I don't feel any different after a birthday, but with this one I sort of do actually. I have been thoroughly spoilt by everyone and that has been a wonderful distraction from thinking too much about it but some big thoughts keep coming back to me.

I am not so bothered by getting older. A lovely friend of my posts this quote every year.

I totally agree with this attitude, especially as so many people around me have died or were diagnosed with life threatening illnesses over the past couple of years. I used to think that 40 would be my midpoint, but now I find myself hoping that it will. There is a very real chance that I have more years behind me than before me and that scares and saddens me. 

Time suddenly feels very precious and I don't want to waste any of it. It is great that this view also comes at a time when I feel much more content with who I am and I don't worry too much about pleasing other people. That comes with a focus that will help me made the most out of the next phase of my life. 

I have mentioned already that I have a sort of mental bucket list going on. In fact I have two, a personal one and a family one. I might even write them down, because the time is now! 

Here are some photos from my birthday week. 

Day 146 - Late home from work and looking for subjects. Good old Foxy steps in again. 

I also took this phone picture of the birthday surprise I got at work. 

Day 147 - Came home late to some birthday prep. Things getting exciting now. 

Day 148 - My 40th birthday